The Day Before

We are looking at 29 hours until we're flying over the Atlantic and headed into Europe. Shane has safely arrived in Londontown. There are still some loose ends to tie up here before I head out but it is partially setting in that tonight is the last night I'll be sleeping in the US for awhile. Still, there are a myriad of emotions circling my head. As I sit here and type Mo is jetting from Oakland towards Logan. I guess this is the first part of the trip where it gets official. Basically, once Mo is here I am in travel mode. Perhaps it was the way I was raised or the fact that starting at age 14 I was mobile and in San Francisco but I'm always watching people when in transit. Who is this guy? Why is he coming at me at that angle? Threat? No. Move on to the next person. We're coming up to an alley, time to put myself closest to the alley and then move on. So basically, starting this afternoon I'm not going to rest until I know that Anna and Mo are safely back home. Probably not the best way to live life but it is what I do. Regardless there will be time to relax and have fun. Still I gotta be heads up seven up. In just a few hours I'll be in a land I've only read about and seen in pictures. I must admit that I am still nervous but filled with excitement as well. I like being in control in every situation and it is clear that as we travel I am going to be faced with challenges in which I don't have a working knowledge of the language nor with the land. Luckily, when you have Joe and add Shane things just work and even if they don't, like our boy Will Smith, we make it look good.

Pre-Italia

Brittany suggested that I blog about the trip to Italy and I happen to think that that is a fantastic idea. I'm not sure how many times I'll have access to a computer over the course of the trip but regardless I think it is important that I commit this journey to paper (or in this case the internet). So every journey needs a point of origin so up until we are wheels up I think I should write about the preparations for the trip.

As it stands now I am done little to get ready for this trip. Barely have any money in my checking account. I need to really step that up because this just doesn't play. I'm just concerned because I have a lot of expenses right now and no source of income. Leases aren't cheap, neither is jumping the Atlantic. There are days where I want my credit card to be taken away and just thrown somewhere. It truly is the devil.
In 8 days MoMo gets to Boston and one could say the trip has officially started from that point on. The next day we'll rendezvous with Anna at Logan and then off to Terminal E to head to Paris and then on to Rome. My understanding is that we are renting a car and driving to Florence. Of course this trip will be a bounty of memories and stories but how special it is that we will find ourselves driving across a foreign country.
It just seems so foreign to me (pun intended) that we will be in a car but in a different atmosphere. How many summer nights have seen Shane and I either in Aloe or the JT Cruiser heading to some party in Alameda? This time we find ourselves driving Italy. I suppose that I am continuely amazed that I have found friends who share my sense of adventure and don't even let geography keep them down. I also recongize what a blessing it is to be able to do things like this. In 10 years I doubt I'll remember the stresses I am feeling as I prepare for a show and midterms. However, I will remember that thrill and adventure that will be mine and my companions in Italy.
At this point I am anxious to get going and to experience this new world. I have no expectations execept to expect the unexpected. All I really want is to make reality an evening in Italy with a bottle of wine, a cigar, and the sharing of stories. I feel as though whenever anybody leaves what is normal to them they grow. I don't expect to go through a life changing experience during this exodus but I do think there will be some sort of growth and personal understanding. I am just happy to know that this is a trip undertaken among friends.

Shaking

Reviewing my previous posts there have been highs and lows. But a constant runs through them all. I talk about the weather way too much. Sure, I could argue that weather can play a huge role on how one views their day or even remembers it. But in the same way that the mind can play tricks on the body so too can the weather on the soul.
This blog's original purpose was to be a means for me to look within myself, thus the title borrowed from Stevie Wonder- Innervisions. And yet, I feel I have strayed from that. At times I may write things with an intended audience of whom I am not able to speak with or must reflect deeper in order to formulate the message I wish to convey. Other times it has served the very important role of allowing me to clear my mind of troubles collected through the days. Some of commented that humor is often missing. I am starting to think my humor is only applicable in social situations and is not a skill readily turned on and off. Even worse is the fact that at times when I have thought it wasn't in use it made its way to the main stage and things got ugly. But that is that.
I've been reading a lot of Shakespeare as of late. And by a lot I mean that I'll read a sonnet or part of a play (usually a page) whenever I have a moment. I am continually struck at the enduring qualities of his work. True, Shakespeare may not be one man but many individuals. I don't trouble my mind with those burdens but rather read whomever's words have been come to be known as Shakespeare's. There is a lot of truth there. Often hidden or hard to discern and yet I find myself toiling to try and figure out exactly what each line is saying. Sometimes I get it and other times I am more confused than poor Othello. Such is life.
I am very curious about what this new adventure I've set out on holds in store for me. Things were at a standstill for months and then, like the phoenix, what I thought were ashes of dreams deferred came something completely new. Time moved slow and then in a blink of an eye and the change of a year time decided to speed itself up simply because it can. And so here we are asking ourselves new questions- who? what? when? where? why? I feel like time should slow itself down once more so that I might at least take time to enjoy the journey. I am unconcerned with the destination. I just hope the road ahead is smooth and while this is clearly naive a small part of me already hopes the road is endless. I don't want there to be a destination but rather a new junction to explore. Why can't that be reality? It wouldn't be that out of the ordinary.
I think Othello is speaking for me, "Speak of me as I am; nothing farfetched,
And don’t write anything in malice. Then you must speak
Of one that loved not wisely, but too well;"

I think you'll make me wise.

That point in the winter

We've gotten to that point in the winter where it seems as though it is an endless plateau. Today teased me with brief 50 degree weather and basketball shorts and a t-shirt were the acceptable attire for the afternoon, both indoors and out. But as they generally do the elements quickly changed and we were cast back into 34 degree weather. No matter. Though that 50 degree weather reminded me of what lays ahead. Italy. More fun times at school then those perfect summer months. The prospect of what lays ahead fills me with joy and reservations.
I guess I've always thought of myself as a member of the Dream Team for awhile. Perhaps this spawned out of the Summer '07 line up. It would have been pretty sweet if our t-shirts were as timeless as the '05. That is a mean throwback. And now it is apparent that there will only be two members of that Dream Team back for the '09 season. At least on the active day to day roster. How odd it is to think about that at length. Shane you know that there is nobody I rather be working with as Supervisor and with your experience and the fact that you are held in well deserved high regard at the HBC assures me that what lays ahead won't trip us up. We could handle a lamination machine after all. But as early clock ins and field trip days fill my head I have to admit that my mind is unsure of what the dynamic will be like. Sure there will be beautiful people to share and make memories with and the good times will abound. But it is going to be hard not to see some of the faces that in mind have always been synonymous with my summers. There is no doubt those faces will make cameos but not seeing them on a day to day basis is going to be unnerving to say the least. However, there are those who maybe weren't there in '07 but are still near and dear to my heart. Come what will.
These days I find myself more and more unsure of myself. I don't know if this is just a point in time in which I am going through a catharsis and change or if I am stagnant. I foster great hope that it is in fact the catharsis similiar in type to Caulfied's but without the shattered record and without explusion. A run in with a prostitute is also not prefered. Maybe this is just another part of growing up. I really don't know. I know where my ship wants to sail. Just give me time to get my bearings and then I am off to open sea. This ship is nuclear powered so forget the wind in my sails.
Each day Italy gets closer and the anxiety and excitement increases. I have no idea what awaits me and my companions and that is enough to double the excitement. Being in the company of great friends is the only prerequisite for this transatlantic adventure.
As the days pass and my enviornment doesn't the yearning to travel is also growing. You only have one life and I want to see as much of this rock as possible. I want to investiage it all and write about it.
I've also been contimplating writing my autobiography from the beginning to now and updating it over time. I want it to be the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I don't intend it to be read except maybe my family after the sun in my hour glass has run out. Ha, as if I have time for more reading and writing.
Coming home for Spring Break is going to be something new and different.
At some point I'm going to have to tell you. I almost did it last week but your seas have been graced by the tempest so I'll send word to you once the swells have calmed and the deck is no longer pitching. I only worry that will turn my pebble into a boulder capable of again interrupting your newly calm seas and I know that is a burden you don't need. But I respect you and have always been honest. I just don't know if you are ready for this news and to accept that while you watch the horizon I've gone out to see what the seas have in store for me and my port of call and yours in not the same. My anchors have been aweigh while I fear you've been circling the harbor. A ship is safe in harbor but that isn't what ships are for.
This entire weekend was something else. Weekends starting Thursday are more than alright with me. Having one class on Thursday and Friday are a God send. The memories and highs and lows of this weekend were enough for me. Last night especially. I'm sorry to say my wandering eyes and curiosity might have taken me into a questionable area but the information obtained there has afforded me the opprotunity to hear what you can't say. I'll take that information to heart and do my best to quell any and all inqueries. But I can't stop doing what comes naturally to me and will continue to keep the lines of communication open to all.
I highly recommend that anybody in the Boston area plans an excursion to the New England Aquarium. While it packs a healthy admission fee the vast aquatic life inside is well worth it. The penguins alone did it for me.

Write, right?

Sometimes I wish I was a writer. I wish my words could sweep people away from wherever they are and take them to the most beautiful of lands. From the beaches of Normandy to the a czar's castle in Russia. But, alas, my command of the written word is unexceptional. The ability to effectively paint the pictures that find residence in my mind is lacking. I guess I just don't have the right brushes or paints. I have stories to tell and journeys to embark on but the means of travel isn't the written word. I guess oral history would have been my way of doing things. Would that make Homer my inspiration?
In the same vein I find myself appreciating the true literary greats even more. I feel that to really appreciate any type of talent you have to at least try it yourself to gain a full respect for it. For example, I can't sing to save my life. I'm ok with that. As a result I can appreciate what it takes for others to share that gift with the world. This applies to every facet of the human experience. However, I think we sometimes forget that there are things that each of us can do like nobody else. Whether we chose to recognize it or not each and every one of us harbors a special gift. Sure some may appear to me more extraordinary than others but we can all do something. The challenge is to accept what we can do and share those gifts with the world.

Stevie Wonder Does Me Right

Any combination of Stevie Wonder and James Taylor can make even the gloomiest days perfect to me. Outside my window I see a flurry of snow spinning in endless circles until each unique flake hits the earth and becomes one united white blanket covering the green grass and our hopes and dreams. The remedy? Stevie Wonder, songs in the Key of Life. For whatever reason I can just let loose and I forget about the elements that await me as I begin the process of getting ready to go to class. Tuesdays are rough business. They drag on like it is their job. Joe does not approve. But such is life. I should really stop complaining about the weather. All things being equal it is no big thing. Rain is a lot worse than snow. However, I honestly believe that the weather affects an individual's well being. Yesterday I saw blue skies and the sun for the first time in recent memory. The sun's warmth revitalized me and for whatever reason yesterday was just one of those days that you fall asleep thinking, "this was good." I should probably be reading for procrastination is the name of the game here. I think I'll go make some green tea. Have yourself a good day.