Put it together

October 2007/October 2008

Different worlds. Life has changed so dramatically for me over the past year and I expect and hope that it stays that way.

I was only in New York City for 10 hours or so and I already want to go back. San Francisco will always be my home. Like so many others my heart is there. My voice can be heard in the ringing of the cable car bells or in Embarcadero station when you hear "2 car L outbound in 2 minutes, 2 car N in six minutes." My beginning is on California St. My end? Probably in Colma with Grandma. San Francisco when I come home to you your golden sun will shine for me.

New York City could very well become my East Coast base. As we came across the George Washington Bridge ($8 toll by the way) I was shrunk down to size by the sheer size of NYC. People always have told me that San Francisco is a small city, I never really had anything to compare it to until I saw Manhattan in front of me. I really only saw a radius of 10 blocks. So much will remain a mystery until I return. I love going to a place completely foreign to me and just walking around and exploring. Too many people I know need a destination. I'm never so concerned with where I am going vs the path I'm on. Am I happy? Am I learning? Am I meeting new people and sharing stories? Am I growing as a person? This is what is important to me.

As time moves forward I have to recongnize that unlike last year I am more present in Boston. But it is foolish to say that a part of me isn't in Alameda and another in San Diego. Last year I let my focus leave me and instead of being in the here and now was in the there and tomorrow. Maybe I couldn't handle it. One thing is for certain, we hold and foster different views of what life is going to be for us. She wanted me to be something I couldnt be.

The Navy is starting to piss me off. Im passing on this NROTC thing. I wont be some monkey boy that jumps through the hoops and shines the shoes. I love this country but I won't play a game to be told my worth. I'll get a degree, then another, then I'll come talk to you guys, of course then I'll be the one called sir.

I wish I was with the people closest to me. We are all going different ways and having different experiences. But truth be told I miss Ash Wednesday, I miss evenings that have no plan set in stone but then live in our memories as the best of the year, I miss La nights and even Water Ball. I know who would have thought?

6 weeks and I'll be back in the Bay. That feels right.

Shane, I have much to say but this isn't the proper medium. I will say that if we need to jump the pond to take care of some 26 year old fool I'm ready to put my fist through his face with you.