Sleepless in Boston?

By this time last winter I was neck deep in fresh powder. Fast-forward a year and I feel like Noah. Can I get an ark please? Other than that just living the good life. Raining nonstop and studying nonstop. I guess it works. Too cold to study outside anyway so let mother nature do what she is going to do. I just realized that due to the excess of studying sustained in previous days my mind is fried and I don't have much to say. Thinking hurts. Dr. Seuss help your boy out, "Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." That is finals in a nutshell.

One Man Band

8:13 on a frigid Boston evening. The thermometer barely reaches into double digits. Add a few paced and calculated gusts of wind and you are feel as though the mercury is reaching double digits...in the negative. All of a sudden that extra sweater with the puppy dog, which on first glance was an embarrassment that would destroy a long standing reputation, is now coveted. Smooth move, kid. Besides it could be worse, it could be purple bunnies or something like that. Now that is the stuff you got beat up for in high school. Until the Jonas Brothers do it, then it's totally acceptable.
What did people do before blogs? Write in journals/diaries/whatever you want to call them. I can dig that. But I often feel that in blogging you lose something. Often times the things most sacred to us don't find their way to the electronic pages of the internet- and rightly so. I can understand not wanting to admitting your deepest desires and fears on a publicly accessible venue. But, I wonder, where do they go then? I believe that there is something deeply cathartic about writing. Sometimes the things you want to say can't be shared with another person. You aren't looking for somebody's evaluation of your life or your opinions. Ok, then do those things stay inside? Maybe that is where they belong. But somehow I think we often need to get these things out. Most of what is kept inside is our fears. And, at least for me, it is the inability to forgive myself. I have failed in this life. And I'm guaranteed to fail again. But I don't forgive myself for the failures. As I sit and reflect on some of them I wonder when they really began. You can't fail as a child. That is just a fact. You're too innocent but this world in which we live seems to wipe that away pretty well as you get older. The morals we once clung too adamantly now find the grip easing. Well, I need to make sure my grip realigns and holds on tighter than ever.
When we are younger we have dreams of who and what we want to be. I'm starting to worry that I'd disappoint my younger self. He was a pretty smart guy I have to say. He worked hard and was true to himself. I owe him an apology. For quite some time I think I've done him quite a disservice. Maybe I should move my flight home and spend a weekend in New York to find myself. What happens to the fish in the pond in Central Park? (The Catcher in the Rye references there for you if you're keeping score at home. If you remember the author give yourself an extra 2 points.) I just look at pictures of myself as a baby and hope that through it all that little guy's life goes as he wanted it to. We both agree where we want it go but I think I'm starting to change the course, not on purpose, but to my chagrin, consciously. There is no one to blame but myself. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
So there it is. Truth. I'm sorry but I don't know that I can forgive myself. No excuses. Oh and I'm afraid of snakes.

Connections

I sit here and watch the snow fall from the heavens and magnify the beauty of the world around me. The wind slowly picks up and the slow and calm falling snow starts thrashing violently as it hits the ground. It is the first snow of the year. As I walk around in the snow the howling wind stops me in my tracks. I can feel every bone in my body and am paralyzed by the harsh winter wind. Jack Frost does me so wrong. But I quickly break from my temporary spell of immobility and press on. The thermometer may say 18 but it feels like 3. Just as weather.com. I fly away from this NorEast wintry December in 7 days flat. I return to the place where winter and summer vary by 20 degrees. But first there are those final exams. Way too much stress for such a little thing. Of course you do bad on the final and the previous 15 weeks of hard work are all for not. So the books get cracked open once more, the glowing laptop stays on until the wee small hours of the morning, and after all is said and done a single letter shows a future employer my value. I don't buy it and wouldn't sell it either. We are more than letters on a page or numbers calculated by a test. What I do on one day for a few hours shouldn't define who I am. But it does. At least in your eyes. But one day I'll open your eyes and show you that we are all gifted. Some of us excel with books in front of our noses, while others of us fill pages in books with what we do in our life. Oh here comes another freezing wind. Time to get inside.

Burn that Yule Log

December in your face. Being home, over in the blink of an eye. Time spent with great friends. It always seems like the ones who mean the most find the time, or so I've noticed. Down with strep. Bad news bears. Sitting in snowless boston. Maybe no snow until I'm gone again. That sounds too good. Home before long. Mind stays in the East until it is on the West. Time flies. We fly with it. Before you know it we'll all be reunited again. Now where the hell am I going to put this Air Conditioner?

In the Middle

Right now things are pretty stressful. No big thing. Stress is commonplace on the college campuses around the world and in everyday life. The good news is that exactly a 7 days from this very second I will be entering into California airspace as I'm jetted into the Bay. So yeah, I can dig a little stress right now. I think professors sneak things up right before breaks on purpose. People are already jazzed up enough about the prospect of break, why not throw something to divert focus? It certain respects it isn't that big of a deal. Often times it helps. One thing I don't understand is how everybody freaks out about how long until they go home. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited as much as anybody else to be home. But it will take the same amount of time to get to next week as it did from last Tuesday to right now. It will get here. But until then I gotta get my study and act on. Still it will be pretty pretty when everybody is back home living it big. Until then we gotta work. Can't stop, won't stop.

Goodnight Moon

Last night/this morning I did something I havent done in quite some time. I went for a walk at midnight. I didn't have a destination in mind nor any real purpose. Simply, I just wanted to be outside on a beautiful evening with my thoughts. Nothing big that requires full attention is going on. Rather, I just wanted to walk around and think. We all need time to step outside of ourselves and observe. We need to commend ourselves for doing things well and understand how we could do things better moving forward. If you take some time to just look at yourself and your accomplishments you just might find that you are an extraordinary person who can take on anything life might throw your way.

President Obama and other November goodness

I don't need to tell you that Tuesday evening saw history being made. What a historic day it was indeed not only for Mr. Obama, the African-American community, but rather, Americans as a whole. It is my great hope that this nation can cease to be a nation divided but rather truly embody the words, the United States of America. That is all I have to say about that.

John McCain's cession speech was moving in my opinion. While I disagree with his politics and the choice he made in a running mate I still hold the highest respect for him. Here is a man who at 18 made the conscious choice to give his adult life in service of his country. He was tested again and again in Vietnam but held true to his values and morals. John McCain could have taken the easy way in life and just retired to enjoy "the good life." I only hope that people can get past the John McCain as either a Republican or ex- presidential candidate but instead see him as a true American Hero who has given his life to this country.

Enough political mumbo jumbo.

The rains have come to Boston. Life is about to get busy. No problem with that. Still, I worry that I need to stop and smell the roses. I need to get out more and not have a destination but just go somewhere. There are stones to be unturned and stories to be heard.

Tommy is playing Ultimate with the Wisconsin team- I hear the USAF was already getting reports of a UFO in the Atlanta airspace (they're playing in a tournament down there.) I wish him the best of luck and hope things turn out well.

Finding housing is harder than I thought. Reading leases is rough business and a lot of them aren't worded well, at least from a student's point of view. I'm just fortunate that my dad specializes in reading leases. Still the hunt continues for the Boston Dream House. A dream that like the one written by Langston Hughes, might be a dream deferred...deferred perhaps to Berkeley. I'll say no more. Just that it is a long shot but if you don't put your cards on the table then what are you doing at the table?

112 days to Italy.

November. Wait, Really?

I keep checking the calender to make sure I'm not missing something. Each time I realize I'm on it. Its November. That just seems silly as crazy to me. September seemed like it was just dragging on and in an instant October came and gone. So here we are November. Big month for sure. New President will be elected, Shovelhead Fall Show, seeing family, and I'm sure a few surprises along the way.

Get excited.

Halloween was something else. Great party here in the Penthouse. The Joker costume lives on as some of the stuff I used actually cut my face so I have a scab that kind of looks like a scar. I'll take it.

Just moving one step at a time. Not worried about the tomorrow the yesterday or anything else, just the here and now. I'll get to where I need to be when I get there. For now it is time to make the best of what you have when you have it. Things can be better, they can be worse.

Oh November, do me a favor and hold off on the snow.

Home Life

The dictionary has an array of definitions for home. They range anywhere from describing a place that one occupies, especially as part of a family unit all the way to home plate baseball. But as for me I like a different definition, a place where something is most commonly found and flourishes. That is what I think of when I think home. But borrowing some of Shane's thoughts I wonder if I would consider Alameda home if the people I love there weren't living there anymore. If my family moved to Saunook, NC (yes its a real place. Thank you google maps) would that become home to me? If all of my friends in the Bay no longer lived there would that be home to me? If yes, then I suppose since I grew up in the Bay that forms a common bond and recogniztion as home. If no, then is home where ever you find yourself with the people that matter most to you? Or is a hybrid of both. I'm not trying to prove anything to myself or to whoever is reading this. Rather I am just trying to go on a journey through thought.

I know home by sounds: a cable car's bell, sea gulls, the sound of the waves hitting against the rocks and sand, a fog horn, church bells ringing at noon, the buses pulling away from the curb.

I know home by smell: Salty air, smog, grass fields.

I know home by feel: broken sidewalks, dirty handrails, wet sand, smooth concrete, the feel of wind pushing against my face.

I know home by taste: Garlic Fries at At&T, Vegatarian Nachos at La Pin, Margs (Papa Turs reciepe, of course), heart shaped cinnamon sugar waffles, guppies, Boudin chili, anything Italian.

I know home by sight: the memories of friends and places fill my mind and heart and continue the replay there until new ones are added.

2 Minute Drill

Have to be out the door in 2 minutes and on to class-

Why do things that originally appear stagnant start moving against once you no longer have the ability to act on them? Maybe finding yourself outside of something finally allows you to fully see it and reflect.

It is like when you give a friend relationship advice. When you aren't part of the relationship you know exactly what needs to be done. Say that to them, do that, don't bring that up. But consequently when you're the one in the relationship you don't know what the hell is going on. Nothing makes sense to you and you don't have a solid grasp on the direction you need to go.

I guess from time to time we all need to put ourselves outside of ourselves if that makes any sense.

Buzzer.

Here's The Thing

Come on and ride the train.

I know what I want. I think we all do. But then we let outside influences or people get in the way. Questions like, "What will they say?", "How will I be looked at?", and so forth come rushing into our consciences.


Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.

Age ain't nothing but a number. At this point do two years really mean anything? Apparently so. I know who I am and what I can do and what I can offer. "I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell, and I'll die by your hand which I love so well." But it appears at present that that isn't good enough. My best isn't good enough. That's life or so I'm told.

Perhaps I once again find myself as Gatsby reaching for the light on the other side. What will it take to be noticed. Should it even take anything?

All is fair in love and war.

Jesus Children of America. You better tell your story fast.

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

Response

Am I doing what I wish I was doing? No.

Simple answer, tough to arrive at. I can honestly say that I'm happy. I enjoy the day to day life but is being in college what I wish I was doing? Not at all. I'll be honest when I say I don't remember much of anything that I learned in high school. I can't remember how to balance a chemical equation, how to find the acceleration of a block of wood, nor the forces acting on it for that matter, most of the math I learned (ever), nor can I remember certain dates in history and their importance.

Rather I remember the relationships I forged in between the classes. Meeting and making meaningful connections with people is what I think it means to be human. You can think, you can feel, you can share.

So there are a million other places that I would rather be on this Saturday night then here in a dorm room with a pile of reading, papers unwritten, and tests to be studied for before Monday. But then again what does the future hold after all this? Perhaps, the ability to provide for those less fortunate than myself. Random acts of kindness, that is what I'm about. Oh you can't get a Christmas present for each of your children? Here is $500 go buy each of your kids 10 things. No you don't have to say thank you, it's my pleasure.

Sure, I rather be waking up each morning in The Bay not knowing where the day will take me. Instead, just knowing that I'd be doing my best to live that day to the fullest. But that isn't realistic right now. But in putting in the time and effort now I can help ensure that one day I will be doing what I want. It won't be today, nor tomorrow, nor 5 years from now but one day I'll be sitting in a circle with my closest friends, some already known, others not yet met, with a smile on my face because then I'll be doing what I want to be doing. Living life to the fullest with those individuals who make life worthwhile.


A thought:

Why do we spend billions funding NASA? Who really cares what the milky way looks like? Or exactly how hot it is on Venus or if there was ever water on Mars? If there is life out there they can come find us. Until then lets put those billions in the pockets of the struggling single parent, the homeless family, or working to pay off the nation debt.

Or we can continue to gather information on what the solar system looked like billions of years ago. Your call.

One Life To Live

I think we've all heard it before, we only have one life to live. Live it right and one will be enough. I like that. But often times I wonder if we can all honestly saying we are living the life we wish we were. Of course I have to start by narrowing my focus and using the United States as my example. All of us are held back from being what we want to be by one thing, money. Sadly, in this capitalist society, one's worth is influenced by their net worth. Sure it is great to be a nice person but no money? Oh sorry, can't help you. No I think that that is really great that you volunteer and work with homeless. You work long hours trying to help the homeless in San Francisco find housing and get jobs so they can be independent, but see the thing is that you only make $10 an hour doing that so we can't help you. You can't buy that house, you can't drive that car, you're kids can't go to that school. Oh but you Mr. Wall Street Investor, please come on in. Since you know how to play the market your worth is more than our community service focused friend clipping coupons over there.

But then again, what if that guy is completely happy with his $10 an hour? Who cares how big that paycheck is if in your heart of hearts you're happy? In this life you only have to be true to yourself. Do what you want, go where you will. Be yourself. This life is what you make, so make it a good one.

Put it together

October 2007/October 2008

Different worlds. Life has changed so dramatically for me over the past year and I expect and hope that it stays that way.

I was only in New York City for 10 hours or so and I already want to go back. San Francisco will always be my home. Like so many others my heart is there. My voice can be heard in the ringing of the cable car bells or in Embarcadero station when you hear "2 car L outbound in 2 minutes, 2 car N in six minutes." My beginning is on California St. My end? Probably in Colma with Grandma. San Francisco when I come home to you your golden sun will shine for me.

New York City could very well become my East Coast base. As we came across the George Washington Bridge ($8 toll by the way) I was shrunk down to size by the sheer size of NYC. People always have told me that San Francisco is a small city, I never really had anything to compare it to until I saw Manhattan in front of me. I really only saw a radius of 10 blocks. So much will remain a mystery until I return. I love going to a place completely foreign to me and just walking around and exploring. Too many people I know need a destination. I'm never so concerned with where I am going vs the path I'm on. Am I happy? Am I learning? Am I meeting new people and sharing stories? Am I growing as a person? This is what is important to me.

As time moves forward I have to recongnize that unlike last year I am more present in Boston. But it is foolish to say that a part of me isn't in Alameda and another in San Diego. Last year I let my focus leave me and instead of being in the here and now was in the there and tomorrow. Maybe I couldn't handle it. One thing is for certain, we hold and foster different views of what life is going to be for us. She wanted me to be something I couldnt be.

The Navy is starting to piss me off. Im passing on this NROTC thing. I wont be some monkey boy that jumps through the hoops and shines the shoes. I love this country but I won't play a game to be told my worth. I'll get a degree, then another, then I'll come talk to you guys, of course then I'll be the one called sir.

I wish I was with the people closest to me. We are all going different ways and having different experiences. But truth be told I miss Ash Wednesday, I miss evenings that have no plan set in stone but then live in our memories as the best of the year, I miss La nights and even Water Ball. I know who would have thought?

6 weeks and I'll be back in the Bay. That feels right.

Shane, I have much to say but this isn't the proper medium. I will say that if we need to jump the pond to take care of some 26 year old fool I'm ready to put my fist through his face with you.

New York Minute

This past weekend was madness. We left BC at around 2:30. Due to some bad directions we ended up in Torrington, CT (not Chester, NJ) but some nice people at Johnny's Package along with my brother and googlemaps got us back on track. We arrived later in the evening to the best Mexican food I've ever had not in a mexican restaurant (That title remains with La Pinata). We filmed for the better part of the weekend. I won't bore anybody with the details but it was so much fun.

Monday we all went into NYC. First time there. Still in a state of shock. Hooray for Times Sq, Letterman, and 30 Rock. Seeing a taping of Letterman made my life. The first grader inside of me was smiling indeed.

More lates.

October don't mess around

It is only the 2nd day of October and my mind has been shattered a handful of times already. I'm gonna keep it short and just say that I can only dream to be on the same level as one Shane Harris. Tommy is doing big things in New Orleans. I'm just amazed at what this FamBam does when we aren't spending afternoons playing four square or knock out. Which reminds, we never threw Stacy in the pool. I hope you're reading this Stacy. Watch yourself.

See I look at it like this, when we are at the HBC that is our time to rest up. Rest of the year we're out there changing the world. Oh and happy 3 month anniversary from the USS Pampanito field trip.

October!

Is here. Who knows what the month will bring. I'm just glad it isn't September anymore. That month was like the friend who you invite to a party because you know they'll find out if you don't. Anyway they drink all of the margs for marg pong, get pretty drunk, then won't leave. You try and be cool but at 5am you just want to sleep. Get your ass out of here September. Whoa October I wasn't sure if you were going to be able to make it. Good to see you bud.

Godspeed Tommy.

A Month in Boston

The Alameda circa 1950 will return at some point. For now a retrospective of my time in Boston after a full month of being back on the Heights.

Flying in was pretty rough as usual what with the goodness of a red eye. I think I watched Obama's speech 11 times. Kevin and his mom picked me up at Logan. From there it was back to BC...this time on lower in Edmonds. I think it took me all of 20 minutes to unpack. I remember watching the TV waiting to hear who McCain would pick as his running mate. I can't believe it has only been a month of Palin. Damn. Soon after Kevin and I threw the baseball and that was that.

First weekend consisted of dumpster dives and bartending school to the extreme. Following was Shovelhead auditions and a classy dinner party.

Long story short this month is much better than any of the previous. Last year at this time I felt as though I had been at BC forever and came home for a quick visit not long after. I mean you never have to give me an excuse to get back to the murda and see the classy people that like me, call it home. I still remember coming home last October...within seconds of hitting the ground I was partying with Shane and Jazzy. Fuck new york, alameda is the city that never sleeps. the day after that tommy and I spent part of the afternoon from his porch. Of all the porches Ive had the pleasure of sitting on I have to say that Tommy's is an easy favorite.

Anyway life is well here in BeanTown. Im currently searching for a job somewhere close by. We'l l see what we come up with.

Alameda circa 1950s

I am feeling a little nostalgic this evening and thought I would write a creative piece this morning. This came about a few minutes ago when I was browsing allposters.com to add to the Edmond's Penthouse. If you want to read about Neptune Beach check out the goodness http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neptune_Beach,_California So without further delay I give to you my vision of Alameda, Calif. in the 1950s and what like would be life:

6:45am. I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock. The anvil rattles opposite the two bells just inches from my bed. I walk down the hall and splash water cooled by the brisk September night which remained undisturbed through the night until my hands plunged into the icy depths of the white porcelain sink. Next comes the hair combing and teeth brushing. A staple of any morning routine.

7am. I'm dressed in my jeans, cuffs rolled up so as to show off my Chuck Taylor Hightops, and my tucked in red and white plaid shirt. Downstairs my mother has already fixed breakfast as she walks over and spoons oatmeal onto my plate. A clump of the oatmeal falls from the wooden spoon and lands on her apron behind which is her blue dress being complimented by the pearls my father gave her for their 20th wedding anniversary. Across from me my father reads the morning paper which is plagued by news of the Soviets. I devour my oatmeal then rush out the door and out to Central Ave.

7:10 am. As I walk down Central I look up at the trees. I always marvel at how Central Ave. is a tree lined avenue...roughly the Spanish translation of Alameda. As I walk towards Alameda High with books in my left hand the wind picks up and intermixes with the smog coming from the Ford T-Bird which just passed me as it rumbles towards Park St.

7:25am. I reach my first stop of the morning. Shane's house. We continue on until we reach Tommy's. It is time. We proudly put on our letterman's jackets and walk towards the rising son towards Alameda High.

8am. We walk through a flood of pootle skirts and think rimmed glasses towards our lockers. The three of us are filled with anticipation as tonight is the big football game.


(More to follow. This really doesn't have a purpose except that I feel that Alameda was the prennial 1950s town. I'm attaching the postcard that brought about this whole composition.)

Shake ya Ass, Watch yourself

I was struck by what Shane wrote this morning, "I'm lookin' forward to the future but I'm not waiting for it." Truer words have yet to be spoken. At times it feels as though September just won't end. It has been the slowest month in recent memory. But then again you just have to go with the flow. I have nothing exciting waiting for me in October, at least not that I know of. "Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further…And on fine morning - / So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

Baseball

I'm ready for my team to return to the majors.

Swinging for those fences.

The Summer Continued

Week 4 is where I left off. That tuesday I went to the stevie wonder concert with katie and had a great time but dang it was hot. Wednesday was an interesting and therefore most treasured of the field trips. We headed out to Zeum. A camp field trip staple. Perhaps the greatest thing was Jay-Z's "Change Clothes" Koston had the lyrics down until we got to the N-bomb showing up on the screen. I wish they would have recorded that...or any of the music videos for that matter. What really struck me was that at the park that afternoon (with the company of the clown or whoever that park moniter was) was the first time Patrick, Koston, and I really bonded. It just seemed to me that the fambam evolved from that of the past to a newer better fambam. It reminded me of last summer when the Joe/Mike combo mixed with the Tommy/Shane combo. Something funny about camp-we just all blend into something beautiful. That week I did the field trip with Patrick. Probably one of the calmest overnights I have ever done. Things just got rolling and no problems. Next day I was cooking at Audrey and Megan's birthday bbq and fed homeless people all while fighting with my weapon of choice- cupcakes.

FLASHBACK TO WEEK 1: See this is what I'm talking about I hella forgot the first sleepover and the Disney power hour which ended with Tommy, Patrick, and I swimming naked laps.

The next week was the abortion that is the Hyde St. Pier. Another hot day in the city but we got through it just fine. The Dark Knight dropped that week. I still love that movie. It was just all kinds of madness. Shane and I made friends at the Pizza of My Heart and "drank hella Starbucks." That Thursday Brittany and I went down to Mountain View to get the flags for Olympic week. Craziest place ever.

That weekend we found ourselves at the Park St. Art&Wine Faire. More madness when it came to the draft. What was Koston thinking? Honduras, Somalia, Argentina, France, Sweden, and SVG. What a crazy Olympic contest. I still think we deserved the Gold. Whatever. That was also the infamous 26 hour day. Horrible idea until you see that paycheck.

The 27th I saw James Taylor with my mom and had an awesome time. A's game field trip is always classy. Nothing like getting paid to watch baseball.

We saw Brenden Fraiser rip of his sleeves and fight vaginas in 3D the next week.

Next came the AT&T park tour which gave way to one of my favorite pictures of the summer even though my eyes are closed. Whatever. I still like it.

Then came Ice Skating. It was kinda weird going to lunch with Anna at La Salsa. We did the exact same thing the year before so I reflected on what had happened since and started to wonder about what La Salsa and the surrounding area had seen since our previous trip. Yes, philosophical. And with that we had Margs in the shed, Shane got the much deserved Associate of the Month and made his last day of camp something of which legends are written. I can only hope to capture such a feat in my life.

That weekend I worked the Italian dinner and had thoughts of going to Crazy Horse. We had the counselor cocktail and again the waffles were made. Shane and Pat came over to dinner before I left for Boston and put an end to the summer of 2008.

So these are just what I remember. But my elementry command of the English language fails to really capture what this summer was. While I have left somethings out like those Ash Wednesdays, random outings, playing bongos and watching fire dancing from Tommy's porch, and countless other happenings they live on in our memories. Every so often a new memory pops into my mind. To say the least this summer was like nothing else. Even now I can think of numerous things I left out but the important thing is that I still have them in my memory so I will the summer of 2008 like this, we came home, we heated up, and we were on fire and still are.

Nice Bocc!

Memories

Now that some time has passed since the end of summer I thought I'd just did down and commit to word everything I remember. Things might not be chronologically correct and I may even leave some things out. That's ok. So here we go turning back the hands of time to May 12, 2008:

I finished my last final and packed up the rest of my crap. My dad was able to make it on to ticketmaster during my final and get tickets to the Stevie Wonder concert. I hung around my room until 10 or so then walked down to 2000 Comm to leave my crap at George's. A cab driver helped me out with the bags and I got set up with no problems. From there I went to 20 South where we started drinking and then headed to the Fine House. I soon realized that if I kept drinking I'd be screwed because I had an early flight out. So after a bit I walked back to George's ordered Roogie's and watched the Notorious BIG story. Called a cab and made it to Logan. Got on the plane and headed home. Once there I had to help move some stuff for my cousin then I picked Shane up and we went to the HBC. I remember that was the first time I had seen Shane after he got his haircut. I met Koston and Patrick then we made a necessary La Pinata run.

The next day I went to the SI Chorale Concert and my brother's track dinner. At the time I was reading Live From New York. Thursday morning I flew to San Diego for Sun God. I drank way too much that Friday and passed out for three hours. Kevin and Rachel got crazy messed up which was even funnier. I never saw Sean Kingston. We did go for Mexican food in Old Town that evening.

Got back to Alameda and got a haircut on Monday the 19th. It was my first haircut is over a year. The 20th was Jury Duty which was a waste of time. Starting the 21st Shane and I conducted CIT interviews. We looked damn fine in those suits.

On the 27th I again flew to San Diego. This time with Katie who was up for the weekend. I forgot my cell phone which was kinda crazy. The evening of the 28th Kevin and I went to a Padres' game. It was my first time in the stadium and I really liked it. Katie and I went to the USS Midway and toured it. She also had a sorority dance. Things were pretty crazy but I had some mean tea so it was all good. Got back that Sunday and just hung around for a week.

June 8th was Ryan's birthday and we went to Taylor's in the ferry building. Next day was the staff meeting for camp. I didn't remember ever meeting Julie and for the longest time I couldnt tell Kiley or Lacey.

At some point, probably before this, Stacy came home and she, Shane, and I played Marg pong for the first time. That was a beautiful creation.

Now comes camp which tends to just all blend in together so now I really know I'm going to be jumping around.

We opened on the 16th. I had a meeting at Cal that day. The field trip was bowling. It was whatever. Not a bad way to open up the season. Some time around there we all went to La Pinata and Chappy got stuck paying $35 and she was pissed. We went to Hannah Greenburg's that night and had gotten skunked at Chappy's so we all took a shower. I got mad drunk and put gin in the beer. I talked to Tommy for 20 minutes not realizing he was passed out. Shane and I worked the grill for the first smokey time.

Week 2 brought the movie theater which is by far the sickest field trip ever imagined. Kung Fu Panada was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Week 3 came out of nowhere and it seemed as though time was moving at a crazy pace. We went onboard the USS Pampanito and that is all that needs to be said about that. Friday brought the 4th of July which was by far the best 4th I've ever had. It started with the parade and my dad. A sort of tradition that has formed. Then the HBC crew made their way over and things just got silly. Brittany threw up in my garage or however you want to put it. We rode bikes around and made it to Chappy's then came the murder of Aquatics. I also got to take care of Maddie.

Week 4 and beyond in a bit.

Be good, Have fun

Advice from Stacy Kaney.

I'm happy to say I'm doing both out here in Beantown.

It is raining like nobody's business. Still haven't gotten use to walking outside when it is 70 degrees and having it rain on you. Something about warm rain just doesn't work for me. Rain has always been associated with cold/winter to me. Basically, my body is all messed up. My eyes see rain my mind thinks cold = winter = snow = Santa Claus. The fat man is still vacationing in the Bahamas. Stay focused Joe.

With the new members in Shovelhead I'm no longer the Rook. It is a pretty cool feeling to know that youve done your time and you dont have to do the bitch work anymore.

I'm up to my neck in philosophy. Descartes, Aristotle, Plato, Bacon, and Socrates. All in my Fav-5.

It is a weird feeling but I cant help but sense that Ive been here for months when really we are talking days. That doesnt mean to say I am longing for a change nor am I complaining. Rather just observing.

One thing I do miss: Driving.

917

Back at BC. Polar opposite of last year. Not to say that in the course of two weeks I am totally sold on it by any means. However, compared to where I was in May and where I am now this is a good place. However, I still don't know if this is the right place for me or if I'll ever know. Rather, it is familiar and often times those familiar things offer us comfort simply because they are just that-familiar. But we move forward and conquer. I still havent been to one of my classes. Not a good thing. I can't fall into my habits of last year. That won't work for anybody.

I miss those people in Alameda. But as Shane pointed out they no longer reside there. At least not for the moment. When I look back on the summer one of the first things to strike me is simply how long the damn thing was. I'm tired of evaluating it or looking back on it. I have fond memories that I will always treasure but now I look towards the future. The roads we are on will lead back to each other whether they have pit stops in Alameda, Boston, San Francisco, London, Eugene, Santa Clara, or Florence. We're family.

I'm happy with the decisions I've made. They weren't popular and I might have lost something precious. But I still justify it by knowing that I lost that precious thing without tarnishing it. It will always shine.

I move forward. In the days ahead we'll see what happens. I think I'm chasing a phantom who was born on two random occasions but we'll see.

Its time to focus on becoming a better sketch writer.

Do work.

77 Degrees and Raining? Pepper that's humidity

I've been back in Boston for over a weekend but it feels like much longer. That is neither a good thing or a bad thing. Rather, just an observation. With so many changes going on time seems to slow down. I still haven't gotten into a daily routine as I try and feel out the semester. Already I am feeling better than the past two semesters. I can't believe it is only September 6th. Once time starts to move I have no doubt it wont be a big deal but part of me can't help but look at a calender and say, "Oh shit." After spending 10 weeks with some of the greatest people ever known it is hard to communicate only by phone, text, or e-mail. There are times where I want to bocce or head to Crazy Horse. But the time apart only makes the time you're together that much more special so we march on.

My return to Boston almost seems like a return to a different world. The set up this year is much better and I didn't have the same feelings of an outsider looking in. I know these streets and after being in Boston for 24 hours I was already doing work at the bar tending school. We are doing just fine. Now I gotta read these books apparently.

Aloha Summer? Ninja please

Yeah the ninja comes from Shane. I'm giving the credit at the beginning instead of the end because I don't want people to think I'm swooping on that and trying to call it my own. Forget that.

Is it really Week 10? That makes no sense to me. Summer has seen me at the top and it has seen me at the bottom. When push comes to shove I'm glad it has just seen me. So many thoughts. Opportunities taken, opportunities missed, opportunities that just were.

So away we go back to the other side of this country. Back to where it started. Time to stand up and make it right. We can do it we are on our way. Does it even occur to her that I went with 18? I never bring that one out. Oh well summer's lease hath all too short a day.

Saw Kevin last night. That memory is in the bank with the rest of ours. True Friendship.

And so I'm off

Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone

Last night I went to the James Taylor concert at the UC Berkeley Greek Theater with my mom. I have been a James Taylor fan for as long as I can remember. His songs would be my lullaby when I was a baby and at times still transport me into deep slumbers. As I reflected not only on the music of James Taylor I began to think about the power his and any artist (of any medium) possess. What a gift it is to influence and motivate people through your words and thoughts. This post isnt all that planned out or thought. Rather I am just marveling in the gifts we all have and amazed at how few actually use them.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

That's so raven

When did I lose control of the wheel and move to the passenger seat? Headed back to Boston. Currently homeless. But working on that at the moment and things could be banging. Week 6 is proving to be the week after just two short days. Moves are being made in all respects. Some good some bad. I have to keep my mouth shut and my heart open. Can I really go down that path? What is over that rainbow? Is it a pot of gold or just a few moments of tranquility? At what cost? In the end won't those few moments of tranquility turn into broken promises and trusts betrayed? So why do it? I won't do it. I will do it. I'll......

A year away and my clothing might be chosen for me. Whites in the summer, blues in the winter. Life is moving faster and faster yet I feel stagnant.

I've never lost control of the wheel. I'm still in the driver's seat. I just let the car go on cruise control. We gotta make a U-turn.

Just Playing

The question came Wednesday. Ash Wednesday. Summer is taking shape but it is almost over. Week 5 it got rolling. Week 6 lets keep the comedy coming. In my mind I see 4. I have one. I'd prefer none. I just wonder what would be different if I handled it differently? Would I be happier or am I just throwing my coins in the wishing well?

I might have a dream house in Boston. Yes please.

She was right about two things: It was comical and I wouldn't know what to do. But I'd try. If only.

Super Best Friends Skit Friday. Its nice not having the worst skit every week but I miss lowering the bar.

If I could go back in time

If I could go back in time I think I'd start with first grade. I'll give you my reasons why. See if I went back to first grade with the knowledge I have now I'd own all the other kids. See first grade is the first time they really put expectations on you. The way I see it I could skip a bunch of grades, graduate from high school in like 96 and then boom 2008 at the age of 19 I'd probably be rolling in the benjis. Yes please.

What you should know about Joe

He never rhymes on purpose
He is 6'1
The world makes more sense to him when he is with people who are laughing
For his friends he would walk through hell
And back if they asked him to. Even if they didn't.
He talks too much but then again he listens to much.
He gets carried away but always has the best of intentions at heart.
He is happiest in or around the San Francisco Bay Area.
He can cook pasta like nobody's business and nobody has a pretty respectable business.
He disapproves of the speed at which the summer is moving.
He would appreciate a franzarita as he has never gotten to try one.
He likes talking to pretty girls.
He is a dreamer.
He has ambition but it is often untapped.
He likes to make people laugh.
His big toes are shorter than the toes next to them.
He misses you.
But most importantly he likes you just the way you are.

So now you know everything you should know about Joe.
That time was on purpose.

Just a thought

I think about the future a lot. Probably one reason why I don't appreciate a lot of what is happening around me until it is gone and all that remains are the memories. No matter, a couple of things came to mind:

• Will I ever be married?

• Do I know my wife?

• Where does she live?
• What is she thinking about right now?
  
• How will we meet?
• How many kids will I have?

• Where am I going to live?

Besides all those random questions of little importance right this moment I've got nothing for you, well except for one thing. If anybody ever tells you to "fuck off" or if you are in the UK "piss off" respond by saying, "In what direction" then tell me what happens. I'm very curious to know.

Carousel li

In a moment somebody can vanish from your life. More importantly just as quickly they can return. We all have our own paths to follow or if we like, we can invoke the transcendentalist spirit of Emerson and not go where the path may lead, but instead go where there is no path and leave a trail. Whatever suits you I suppose.

Today I reconnected with two people who I otherwise have heard from at best once or twice since last summer. All of a sudden you are back in their lives and them yours. In a certain respect it seems for lack of a better word, fake. How is it that you can not talk to someone for months and then come back and expect them to let you back in? Shouldn't there be an on deck circle or something?

What truly amazes me is how much or how little we can shape somebody's life. Over the course of barely two months I was able to impact one of the people's I reconnect with life for the better. Their lucid memory really took me back when we discussed summer days past. I have always thought I possess a sharp mind and pride myself on my ability to recall events and happenings long after they have occurred . However, this individual was able to recollect even the smallest of details from last summer. I miss that.

This evening I learned something about an classmate from the SPN years. Life isn't fair to everybody and you wonder if there was anything you could have said or done. After awhile you reach the conclusion that you couldn't but a part of you never really believes or accepts that.

Finally, there are two people I haven't seen nearly enough. I know why, but I don't accept that. We all make decisions and sure I wish I would have made different ones. But the only thing we can do now is move forward. Still, dreams never hurt anybody.

Week 4 + Sleep over - yes please.

Week Four on approach

Get out of here? Week 4 already? Damn, son. The summer camp is flying by in both good ways and bad ways. With everyday I feel as though things are working themselves out and moving towards some fairly solid ground. Bad side? We are almost done man! Well not really, but we are closing in on the half way point which means my summer is getting ready to wrap up. (Where does the time go?)

With all of this in mind I am going to try and change some things moving forward. Mostly I want to Carpe Diem. It all boils down to that. My mind is constantly clouded by things that, while important, should not be the main focus of every day. It is time to let go and start living. Get busy living or get busy dying.

Hot Fun in the Summertime?

It seems to me that we (the FamBam) are spending what could be and most likely is our last summer together in a weird place. It is like coming home and getting in bed but you realize somebody else has been sleeping in it. Yeah everything is the same in terms of pillows, blankets, and sheets but their fat ass has messed up the form your bed takes once you get into it. Basically, this blows more than a hooker on a Saturday night. For the first time in many summers I don't find myself in the middle of crazy baseball stories. In my mind I feel as though we have moved beyond the stadiums of baseball. We are playing games (I don't think that is the right word) that are beyond simple metaphors of America's Pastime. Instead, we find ourselves being adults (when did that happen?! And how do I make it stop.) We are all facing our own battles against each other and ourselves. I am unsure if there are any right or wrong paths. Just paths. My greatest wish? That everybody leaves after week 10 with a smile on their face and a tear or two finding its way out of their eye(s). Happy and sad that it is over. Sad that it is over but happy it happened. Over the past 4 years I have met people that I couldn't imagine life without. Time will tell how strong the friendships we have forged really are. My greatest hope is that as time goes by we find ourselves coming together every so often.

So what happens tonight? tomorrow? next week? next month? next summer? I don't know.

But, as Edmond Dantes, the Count of Montecristo wrote before he departed, "Wait and hope."

Paper Backs are 25 cents Hardcover 50 cents

This morning my mom and I went out to a handful of garage sales. This wasn't my maiden garage sale but it wasn't until we went to an estate sale that I really got thinking so join me as I bring you in to my thoughts born out of outdated electronics and calenders from years I didn't even exist in the corner.

Commonly estate sales are held after an individual has died. As I walked into this particular house I noticed first the random assortment of items strewn about the house. What struck me most and is perhaps my motivation for this blog was the thought, "what do our possessions say about us to strangers?" Upon further investigation of the house I found out that it's previous habitant was a member of the Marine Corps. They were obviously married or really loved women's clothing and jewelry. Their collection of movies proved they weren't into comedies nor did they own a DVD player as the VHS rewinder looked recently used. (Did you know that VHS stands for Video Home System? That is a fun fact. Is it just me or should it be Home Video System. Granted HVS looks too much like HIV and nobody wants that.) The kitchen looked as though it hadn't been updated since the 60's. Inside the garage laid golf clubs older than perhaps the game of golf itself. Certainly before Tiger's time or even perhaps Arnold Palmer. Essentially, what I came to notice was that an our possessions might give a stranger a broad idea of who we are or what we did but to really know about a person you have to know them, talk to them, laugh and cry with them. So get talking because one day the only thing that will remain besides the memories are a few boxes of odds and ends that were important to us but just random match books in a glass vase to some 19 year old out on a garage sale with his mom after we have died.

Week Two is done and it flew by. I have no idea how the week got away from me but standing behind the grill today didn't seem right. I don't think I have ever had a week that has gone by this fast. Cleaning the shed after the bbq with Brittany and Patrick was clutch. 11 hours of work...gimmie that overtime.

Mario Kart Wii is life changing. Enough said.

Camp burgers make me sick.

I'm tired of writing right now. But like Arnie, I'll be back.

Bold as Love

The past few days have done their best to be rough and wear me down. They've succeeded. On the one hand it feels as though this week has flown by. I can't believe that tomorrow is Friday! I feel like Shane and I were just grilling yesterday but here we go again. I mean damn this doesn't seem the least bit possible. Camp has been a little rough the past couple of days with the usual things that happen in life. I can honestly say that those I work with have a special place in my heart and in my eyes they can do no wrong. I've just been upset with certain situations but never at an individual or group of individuals. I guess finding myself so tired after camp days is just a sign that this Pink Sunset Blvd leader needs to move on pretty soon here. I will say one thing though: waterball needs to die. That is the devil's game. I'll bet they play that game in hell except with fire.

I've got a question, since when was underarmour considered a suitable shirt? I've noticed more and more people walking through the gym with just underarmour on. Don't get me wrong I am down with throwing on some compression shirts/shorts/whatever but throw a damn shirt/shorts over them. We get it you have muscles, congratulations! Let me bow down to your carefully sculpted arms and gaze at them with awe. You are so awesome Mr. Underarmour Shirt wearer. I am not worthy to wipe your sweat off the machine you just used.

I've been toying with the idea of attempting to join one of the teams once that opportunity presents itself. Let me rephrase, I'm toying with the idea of trying to join one of the teams. But in the next breath I don't know if I could handle it. It doesn't get any more real than what those guys do.

Something that got me thinking today, most people living around us speak English but when do we ever talk to them? I think it is a shame that people aren't more social with one another. We all have stories, experiences, and talents that add to our uniqueness. We are the only one of us that there will ever be so why not learn from one another. While we are all different we aren't that different. We all laugh, cry, and hate waterball.

I'm off to San Francisco in a few minutes to see Kevin and Megan. Nothing like family. I regret that I haven't had the opportunity to catch up with more of my friends but I find it important to treasure and value every minute I'm able to see people this summer.

What I've felt and experienced since last time you stopped by

Over the past few days there have been some unrelated events which I feel are worth noting. Most pressing at this moment is the fact that whatever body wash my brother found has me smelling like a 14 year old girl who just started high school. Don't get me wrong I am an equal opportunity fragrance guy. But there will always be a part of me that believes a guy shouldn't give off the aroma of "cucumber watermelon" or "Beach Butter." Call me old fashioned if you must. It is a label I am willing to have affixed to my name and likeness.

Last week a story broke about teenage girls back in MA who formed a pregnancy pact. If you haven't heard about it start reading the news. I suppose what bothered me the most was the lack of self-respect and feeling of self-worth I believe these girls had for themselves. It seems to me that all too often in this life we concentrate on what we don't have versus what we do. To imagine that girls barely half done with high school are running around with some homeless 24 year old guy's babies really sickens me. At camp I notice some of the older kids with an astonishing lack of self-worth for themselves. (That isn't worded how I would like it to be but this is a blog so things are coming at you off the cuff). I think it would do us all well to hold dear the words Mr. Rogers spoke to us time and time again, "You're special and I like you just the way you are."

Over the weekend because of one thing or another summer dreams crumbled all around. Totally destroyed? I think not. While this summer is young I already find myself longing for summers past. Why? I'm not completely sure but a lot of the faces have changed and some of the ones that remain would be switched with those moved on.

Monday night we found ourselves back at the Gillman household. Walking in quickly brought feelings of nostalgia from last summer. For me a lot of landmark happenings of the 2007 summer began in that humble abode. As we played a little beer pong the concept of "legendary teams" came forth with Michael and I being one such team of the past. Say what you will about him but he has always been a close friend and I miss him at camp. To say the least, he made everyday interesting. I just feel like at times I am flying without a wingman.

Today at camp we saw "Kung Fu Panda." Talk about the easiest field trip of all time.

Finally the current event receiving most of my attention and thought is the passing of George Carlin. I have had a lot of comedic influences over the years but right up there with some of the biggest is George Carlin. I always admired his approach to comedy and the way he wasn't afraid to say what he felt. George Carlin wasn't worried about who would or wouldn't like what he said. Instead he was true to himself and I think it is safe to say as a result found himself being named one of the top 10 standups of all time.

Thoughts over Pizza

Just over a week ago while Audrey said something to me that although I've heard before really got me thinking. Basically it was that whole thought that there will always be that one person who you will always have some type of feelings for. As I pondered this individual in my life I got to thinking if perhaps it was only one person. There is of course one that comes to mind without delay but then two more find their way into the mix. It is very weird to ponder these things and change your mindset to try and comprehend why things never happened/worked/ended. What is of most interest to me is what the future holds. Will I be invited to the weddings? How will their lives play out and with whom? For that matter what does the future have in store for me? I suppose that is the million dollar question.

Week One: A retrospective

Shit was crazy.

Badges? Oh I've got some stinking badges

Friday Night- San Francisco, CA. As those of you who have driven with me before know, when it comes to driving in San Francisco traffic lights, signs, and laws take a backseat to my agenda for getting around the City. On Friday evening I continued my driving game, "Joe is a Police Officer." It is a simple game, I pretend I am a police officer and drive as recklessly as I can. As I picked my brother up from the Zeum Theater a cab driver kept honking at me to go. True enough there was a green light however, people were in the cross-walk so being a good police officer I waited for the people to get by. The cab driver did not appreciate this and continued his reckless honking and as soon as he could cut me off...big mistake. I quickly hit the gas and pulled up next to him, rolled down my window, and flashed my badge (don't ask how I got one). The expression on his face can not be described in words so I won't even attempt to. All I'll say is, the streets of San Francisco are now safer thanks to yours truly.

Going International

I'm always fascinated at what can happen when you simply walk around. You never know who you might meet.

The other evening McGibbons, Percival, Lexi, and myself found ourselves in San Francisco. Our original plan was to pay the Cigar Bar and Grille a visit. Upon entering we learned that after 10 you had to be 21 to partake in the enjoyment of cigars. At first this seemed like it would put a damper on the evening (though their humidor sucked and was overpriced). So after being turned away due to the day we entered the world we set our new course for North Beach. Of all the districts I feel like North Beach always has something going on. While certain areas were deserted we found most of Columbus Ave alive and well. As we walked down Broadway we found ourselves at the corner of Montgomery and Broadway where four chairs were placed as though the City of San Francisco knew one evening four young adults needed a place to enjoy cigars. After Percival and myself enjoyed our cigars we made our way back to the car after Percival stopped in at a local liquor store and a stop at Cable Car Pizza. While I didn't partake in the enjoyment of a slice I must say if I wasn't kicked out of the Cigar Bar and Grille I never would have found my way into the pizza parlor. As we made our way back to the car we ran into some international travelers staying at the Green Tortoise Hostel. After initially blowing them off we realized we must catch up with them. So the JT Cruiser spun into action reclaiming her place as one of the all-time San Francisco driving violators until we found our young travelers. Long story short we all gathered at Coit Tower and exchanged stories. For me this was quite an experience just listening to their thoughts on America and its culture. I also felt very uneducated as all of them spoke at least two languages well. One guy (Josh, I think) spoke 6! That is crazy. I can speak 3, 1 well, 2 sort of. A highlight for me was getting a few of the internationals to laugh...I am officially internationally fun and therefore internationally marketable. As was to be expected the little time we had together came to an end and we went on our ways. But just for a moment in time a group of young adults got together, talked, drank, and laughed together and for just a wrinkle in time the world seemed a little more peaceful.

The Dry Spell

On Saturday morning I decided to go on a dry spell. I can proudly attest that as of this evening I am still bringing the heat.

I am getting even more excited about the summer ahead after our staff meeting tonight. I have a lot of goals this summer and I think they are all attainable. However, before I achieve I must believe. It isnt going to be easy but when all is said and done I think I'll be better for it. At least that is what I am going for.

I think I am going to try and read War and Peace this summer. That book doesn't mess around. I think it will be a hard read but the prospect of reading another classic has raised some excitement in me. Last summer I read The Count of Montecristo which altered the way I looked at some things in life and thus found itself as my all-time favorite book.

The fact that it is almost midnight at the weather outside is 62 degrees is pretty wicked. Yes, I realize I just said "wicked." Go live on the east coast for a year and then come talk to me.

The Alameda movie theater looks pretty sweet on the inside but you can totally see movies for free.

Alameda police is a joke. A parking ticket for $30? Really guys? I mean there were open spots everywhere in the parking garage. Bastards are always trying to get my funny yaper.

The prospect of the entire FamBam back together in just a couple of days has me all kinds of excited. I can only imagine what craziness will greet us this summer.

SF Cigar and Bar tomorrow or Wednesday. Yes please.

In the words of Edmond Dantes, "wait and hope."

Live From New York

To kick of the summer I read a book called "Live From New York" which was a collection of interviews that essentially gave a first hand look into the history of SNL. It really got me thinking about things. Now I'm reading a book called "The Chris Farley Show" which is set up similarly to the SNL book. I guess a part of me has always dreamed of being on SNL. People tell me I'm funny but I dont know if I am that funny. One thing I have realized, with the exception of a few years in the 80s, everybody on SNL was a no-name when they came on. Some still are. It will always just be a dream but how cool would it be to say "Live from New York It's Saturday Night."

One week until camp. Get excited.

Make and Model

Random thought: Why do police officers and cab drivers drive the same tyoe if car? Furthermore, why do you ride in the back seat of both? I think there is a mystery there just waiting to be solved.

White cowhide, red seams

Yesterday was a pretty refreshing day all around. Ryan and I went over to Tillman Park to get some batting practice in. For me there is nothing more relaxing than taking some hacks. As my brother and I were swinging for the fences this two year old kid walked over and just sat and watched us for what must have been 15 solid minutes. I was pretty amazed by that. Like wow he is able to just sit here and watch us. My attention span at age 19 is barely 15 minutes! After we finished I gave him a baseball. Ive never seen anybody get so excited over something so small. It was just an encounter with the true innocence in the world. Then my mind went into overdrive. So in 2008 he is 2 years old. Alright so he won't we 19 until 2025. That just seams so crazy to me. Like what will the world be like for him in 2025? I'm paying $4.60 a gallon. How much will he pay? Will we still have such a dependence on oil or will everybody be rolling in better cars? What is his life going to be like? 2025 is 17 years away. That is just so crazy to me to even think about. I mean damn it is Tillman Park, I was playing there when I was 2 and the world has changed a lot since then.

2025...If there is a baseball all-star from Alameda you'll know who to thank.

The bus don't hand out change white boy!

So May was a bust for the blogging. Good news, June is here so we'll shoot for two.

I like to think. Nothing of any real interest but just think in general. Over the past couple of days I've gone for walks along the Bay in the middle of the afternoon and I submit for you some of the fair observations from your aimless bay wanderer:

A lot of people take their lunch breaks along the Harbor Bay Parkway which leads into the business park. The funny thing is they park their cars so they are along the water but are facing the office buildings. What is more depressing than that? Even when you are on your time you're looking at the 9-5 prison you go to everyday except for weekends (sometimes) and holidays (if you're lucky). I've always wondered why these people don't get out of their cars and look towards San Francisco or at least go sit by the water.

The water itself is pretty ridiculous if you think about it. The oceans haven't changed over time. Sure they rise and fall, find themselves in a state of pollution, and have been displaced here and there but besides that they have been their from the beginning. The waters are the same ones the Vikings sailed on, Jesus walked on, and all of that good stuff. But no, look at your office building that was put up in the 80s.

My favorite thing about walking is finding yourself all alone and then have a calm breeze come across a grass field while the sun is shinning. You can't get that on TV or in a book. To just find yourself all alone and marvel in the simplicity of these things is important. At least to yours truly.

People can be pretty rude. It has gotten to the point where people freak out if you say hi to them. When I walk I'll see people I don't know. If we make eye-contact they will look away real quick like, "Oh shit he saw me!" So? I'll then say, "hello" or whatever salutation comes to mind. These people freak out. They don't know what to say. That is why I really like the movie "Patch Adams." While it has a lot to offer I always come back to the thought that you need human interaction and above all humor. There is a lot wrong in the world that can't be laughed at but we all need a good laugh every now and again.

Who is playing golf at 11:45 on a Wednesday? That golf course always has people on it. I mean good for these people but shouldn't you guys have jobs or something?

I have lots to say but the words escape me. This is nice, lets do this again real soon. No, no, I have your number so I'll call you.

Oh real quick, if you have an Nintendo 64 and you haven't played it in awhile bring that bitch out. Those games were legit.

Freshmen year is over?

So I am done with 1 out of 4 years of college. It doesn't seem possible. With that said, lets go back.

Move in was pretty crazy. Talk about a wave of emotions. I went from one of the best summers ever to moving clear across the country. Like almost as far as you can go. Even with that said I still have to go back to my sending off.

August 28th was probably one of the funniest nights for me. The counselors all got together in SF at a hotel near Union Sq. Again Tommy and Shane holding it down and coming through in the clutch. It was just nice being in my City with some of the greatest friends a guy could ask for.

First semester was pretty rough. Not only was it hard to adapt to college life but the classes were pretty crappy. I hardly went to english which was a mistake but that class was so boring. I can only do so much. Of course first semester also saw my introduction into shovelhead so how can one complain? I just remember thinking Thanksgiving would never come. It seemed like such a long stretch while the time after that to Christmas flew by.

Second semester was most def better. I remember the night before it began I was at the Oakland Airport with Matt and he gave me a run down of exactly what to expect. My boy was right on. I felt like this semester i was in more control but it was still tough. Shovelhead was most def a lot better and I felt like the group got a lot closer. Time flew by this semester. At times it feels like it dragged, especially when I remember it started with Jared and I watching Entourage. We flew through those 4 seasons like nobody's business. After February got done time literally kicked it into high gear. I have no idea where March or April went.

But here we are. Right now I am sitting in George's apartment. We all went to the Fine House but I peaced out early. I'm going to miss 2000. It is always sweet showing up somewhere and having to show ID. It feels like an exclusive club or something. I'll miss all of Shovelhead's off campus locations. Oh well.

So here I am at the end of frosh year. I dont know it wasnt great. It wasnt all that horrible just not what I expected. Now here I am waiting for the wee hours of the morning to show up so I can grab a cab to Logan and get back to the Bay. Hurry up time.

Getting back to the Bay will be great. I realized something the other night. Each and every time I've come home somebody from my HBC family has gone out of their way to hang out with me. October saw Tommy and I sitting on his porch talking about starting a Franzia Porch Series. I think it was supposed to start tomorrow but I dont think he will make it. The night I got in Jazzy and Shane were holding it down on Bay St. There is nothing like seeing your good friends. It was awesome coming home. Thanksgiving us classy counselors hit up the LA. Then we had Winter Camp in December/January. Oh and a little place called the Bacon's. Early March I was celebrating my birthday with Mike and Amy. Then Easter we were getting it going at the local parks and a trip to an awesome house off of Ocean in SF. Nice. And now here I am getting ready to come home again and what is planned? Lunch with Shane at the La. I couldn't be happier. I can't believe I only met Shane less than a year ago. It doesnt seem possible. What do we have going for ourselves? CIT interviews. Oh yea! It is gonna be great.

Well it is 1:30. Waiting for about 4:30 or 5. Party on!

Mario Kart

Shit is addictive.

I also beat Star Fox last night. Totally took me back to those sweet days of the fourth grade.

Summertime Line

This week flew by. True, we didn't have class Monday so that sped things up but even so I feel like this week should just be starting. I'm not complaining though. This last week of school is going to be busy. Lots of papers to be written and tests to study for and then final exams. I can hardly wait (sarcasm).

Last night was prom. Probably one of the craziest/funniest/stupidest nights of college. Hopefully pictures will make their way up before long.

Shane posted pictures of his surgery online...that is the real deal right there. He is a fighter.

Just a few more weeks before I am back in the Bay. It is going to be nice.

I hate intro to theater.

Summertime Lime is the shit.

Soymilk is not.

84 degrees, word?

Word.

Today was probably the first really nice and warm day here. There have been other days that arent too bad but today was the first time we broke 80 since last year and it was a welcome change. I had a nice run from Upper down to the Res, then I headed to the Stadium to run some stairs and do some sprints. After I walked through Conte...athletes have it made. Such a nice weight room.

This weekend will be busy. I could start doing stuff now but I am lazy and unmotivated. Bad things.

I wish I could find a really good Mexican place around here but it is tough.

A Map for the Unchartered

Four minutes until I gotta leave for class.

Cancel that 3. I think I have figured out what I'm doing next year. We'll see if it sticks.

2 minutes. I better run. No, I'll walk.

Hey Ma

Shovelhead show is in full swing. We are doing our dress rehearsal right now. I am pretty tired running on less than four hours of sleep. I'm really looking forward to this show. It will be nice to see my dad who is flying out for this thing. Cross country comedy kids. Nice.

Percival goes under the knife tomorrow. Yeah, I'm praying for him.

Conscience of the Unconscience

It is 2:14...I should be asleep.

But I took a nap from 8-10. Now I can't sleep

I can't wait to be back in the Bay. I listen to the Bay Area's Party Station (sounds so lame) streaming on my computer and it just gets me excited

I hope Shane gets the dream house

What am I missing at home?

Tahoe is going to be insane. There is nothing like good friends coming together. Kevin and I are due for a heart to heart, it has been too long.

La Pinata sounds really good right now. I can't believe that up until two years ago I had never been there, I suppose that relates to my earlier post.

Registration is coming up soon. Hopefully my classes will work out

What is that girl doing?

Ladies things I'd imagine.

36 here 71 in La Jolla. That is insane...guess where I want to be? And for a number of reasons. Actually I guess just one and the rest is just a bonus. I always liked bonus prizes.

It will be nice to be back in the Dirty Meda. It is a town lost in time. Half of it looks new age while the rest looks trapped in the 50s. I miss those Alameda parks. On second thought I dont miss the parks but rather the people I find myself with at those parks.

La Pinata now is sounding even better...I'm going to try and fall asleep now with that on my mind.

Mad love.

Cambridge and Beyond

Today after rehearsal we had to get costumes which meant a drive up to Cambridge to go to the Garment District. After taking care of everything we started to drive back to BC. Of course nobody knows how to get around Cambridge so we decided the best way to get back was to just follow random cars. In the end it worked out. However, as they say, "the journey is more important than the destination."
Along the way Ryan we passed places in Cambridge none of us had ever seen before. Ryan commented, "Enjoy it because you are never going to see it again." This is what triggered my thinking.
Here I've been for the past 9 months and there is still so much I haven't seen or explored. Even back home where I have lived my entire life there are things that I don't know exist or have experienced. And then I got thinking about the world itself. There is a lot of world out there to be seen and not a lot of time to see it in. I hope one day I can be like my grandparents and just go on lots of trips to see the world. I want to watch the sun rise in Ireland and set in Cairo, swim in the red sea then tan on the Great Wall.
29 days 44 minutes until Summer

Spring

If you have just a little over an hour it is worth it:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

It is just over 70 degrees today and I love it. By Monday it will be 40 again. I cant waste a beautiful day typing so I'll catch up with you later.

I should be working on a paper right now but it is still early and I am far too excited to research about the Book of Jude in the New Testament.

I doubt anybody reads these things but that is cool. Maybe somebody will stumble upon my blog and hopefully something I say will get a reaction. If not that is cool too.

This summer is going to be amazing. I already know it. One needs only look at who is working at the HBC...all all-stars. If Shane gets the Dream House then I can only imagine the memoires that will be made over the course of three months. I came home in October and was a little disillusioned on the course of my life. As soon as I hit the ground in Oakland my cell phone goes off and who else but my fellow gentleman, Percival, is texting me about a party that Jazzy is throwing. There is nothing like coming home to true friends who you not only look up to but admire as well. While I was home I stopped by Tommy's place. We sat on his porch and just talked about life. There was something very peaceful and relaxing just sitting on a porch watching cars and people go by. We agreed that come summer we would buy a bag of Franzia and make some spaghetti and just sit and talk. I'm looking forward to it but being a man of great fortune I've heard that Tommy might be in Mexico at that time. Well, whenever he gets back we'll do it. I hope that other members of the family can join us as well.

We have to get that cooler out. I also want to play some truth or truth...I've also heard about a new game too.

33 days 11 hours 46 minutes and 25 seconds.

Walking is cooler than cool...it is the cat's pajamas!

With the weather in Boston slowly getting warmer (we might hit the 50s tomorrow!) I have tried to get out more and more. I like walking, especially when there is no destination in mind. You just put your brain in neutral and leave it to your legs to take you where they will. Personally I think the best place to walk is in a major city. You never know what you'll find. There is a lot of earth out there so I figure I might as well explore it for better or worse. This Saturday I might go on an all day walk. Fuck subways and all that jazz. I am going colonial in this bitch...wait what is pre-colonial because I am not using a horse either...I guess just pre-colonial. Maybe pre-Native Americans? I don't know. I just know that I am doing it.

Tuesdays are Freeloaders

I came to a realization today in Genetics. I've pretty much given up on the class so instead I just let my mind wander while the screen in front of me changes from chromosome to chromosome. What my mind figured out today is that Tuesday is the worst day of the week.
I know at first you would say it is Monday. But Monday has always been crappy (expect for when it is MLK day or Labor Day) but Tuesday is just there. It says, "you made it past Monday but you still have a long way to go. A real long way." Conversely, Wednesday is all about "Hey you are half done. Good for you." And from there you just coast into the weekend. But Tuesdays? No thank you. I have sketches that need writing and rewriting.

Fuck you Tuesday. I'll see you next week.

"You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am."

I've always thought I had this whole life thing figured out. You put in the hard work you get the reward, right? That is the American Dream after all. But of course life is going to throw you these curve balls and the problem is I was cut from baseball (twice) so how am I going to hit them out of the park?
A year ago I thought "in a year it will all be right and make sense" and now I look towards next year as being the answer. If anything over the year I have gone through many humbling experiences.
The wise Stacy Kaney pointed out in the summer of 2006 that it was a "summer of maturity" for me and I believe that the summer of 2007 was the beginning of another awakening for me. It has seen me defy gravity and cross this country. I have gone from looking out at the Pacific to looking towards the Atlantic. I've gone from three hours behind to three hours ahead. However, life is still influx and at this point the only person behind the wheel is me (perhaps I should wake up).
I realize as I continue to right that this post won't lead me towards any great resolution or realization about where I am or am supposed to be. And that is fine. I guess it is more important just to get this stream of conscience out.

All I can really say is that I hope a renaissance is on its way.

Mad Question Asking

I'm writing this for me in the hopes it will keep me sane. You are welcome to come along for the ride. But this isn't for you, I mean I'm flattered your here but don't think that this is for you because as I already said, it ain't. So if you are a freeloader why don't you do us all a favor and get the hell out. That being said I don't have much to say and a lot of time to do it in. Wait scratch that and reverse.

Sometimes I get bored and pretend I was doing other things instead of reading endless words on endless pages. Most recently I imagined that I was a pirate. I mean that would be pretty sweet right? I'm not talking like present day pirates taking French yachts in Mogadishu, Somalia (read your news) but like old school pirates with cool ships. But I wouldn't want to be one of those Pirates of the Caribbean pirates because if I wasn't Jack Sparrow or Will Turner I'd be a no name pirate. I rather just be my own pirate in my own area. I'd probably opt for a parrot over a monkey. But don't hold me to that.

Did you see those people scaling the Golden Gate Bridge today? Pretty bad ass if you ask me.

I wish I lived a more exciting life. Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me.